Facebook Messenger App Review

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What is Facebook Messenger?

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A messenger app made by Facebook, and tied to the social media platform. It is quickly becoming a pseudo-social media platform. Owned and operated by Meta.

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Any messaging app has risks. Facebook Messenger being so tied to the social media app also creates risk.

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How Does Facebook Messenger Work?

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Some of its features include:

• Group video calls (up to 8 people) and voice calls
• Record and send voice and video messages
• Text messaging, send GIFs, pictures, videos
• (in the USA only) Add a debit or credit card to send money to friends
• *new* watch together feature by creating video chat rooms
• Emojis, chat themes, and colors to personalize your in-app conversations
• Host up to 50 people in a group video chat in a “room”
• Compatible across platforms, like desktop, Portal (Facebook’s Alexa-like device), and smartphone.
• Messenger includes a “secret messages” mode, allowing you to have the conversation disappear and it limits access to just the 2 devices having the conversation. You can’t access it from your desktop. Even Facebook says they can’t access these conversations (which tells you they can access non-secret conversations, but we know this, right?).

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Other than lacking a feed of activity with likes and comments, Messenger shares many features with a traditional, Facebook-like social media platform.

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What Do Parents Need to Know About Facebook Messenger: 

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End-to-end encrypted chats – In December 2023, Messenger added end-to-end encryption. Users can turn on secure storage to save their chat history. This history can be secured by setting a 6-digit PIN or by storing a key in your Google Drive or iCloud.

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Marketplace - Facebook Marketplace (Like Ebay / Craigslists) uses Facebook Messenger to handle conversations and rate sellers. Please be careful when sharing information of where to meet up when partaking in Marketplace deals. Always aim to meet somewhere public and ensure others know where you're going.

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Blocking people you don’t know – if you have Facebook and Instagram, then you can receive DM requests from people you don’t follow in Messenger. This has been a problem for years. In October 2020, Facebook finally fixed this problem by giving users the ability to block DM’s from people they don’t follow on Facebook and Instagram (these instructions are from Instagram, but it’s similar in Messenger: profile picture > Privacy > Message Delivery, then turn off the ability for people who don’t follow you to send you anything).

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Location Settings – by default, Facebook Messenger shows a user’s location and informs the person receiving a message where the user was located when they sent their message. Not a great idea for children’s privacy.  Good news – parents can turn off location services for this app in the privacy settings of their phone, to protect your child from divulging their location.

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Sexting/Photo/Video Sharing – Messenger is no different than other messaging apps that encourage kids to share media (e.g., photos and videos) other than text. Make sure kids understand the immense risk that comes from sharing inappropriate media, which can lead to peer shaming, bullying, and legal issues related to child pornography.

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Blocking – Messenger does allow users to block other users who might be a nuisance. You can do this by swiping left on a message and then following the prompts. But we would argue that your Messenger “friends” should only be people who you want to be communicating with anyway, so it’s just a good idea to keep the follower list scrubbed.

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Web browsing – When web links are sent via Messenger, the receiver of the message doesn’t need to leave the Messenger app in order to browse the web. Even with Safari blocked on an iPhone, links can be followed. Unfortunately, while in the Messenger app, if using an iPhone, iPad, or iPod Touch, the web browsing performed in Google, Bing, or Yahoo while still in Messenger does not obey any content filtration system in place. However, toggling “Safe website browsing” on will warn the user when potentially unsafe sites may be trying to steal private information.

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Messenger Rooms – Up to 50 people can video chat for an unlimited amount of time.

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Vanish Mode – Users can enable a vanish mode in which messages, images, etc. will disappear after the recipient sees it and the chat is closed. If this sounds like Snapchat, you’re right because this feature was created to compete with that app. This feature is unfortunately asking for kids (and adults!) to be secretive. It is only available to use with your friends, and the recipient(s) has to agree to also use Vanish Mode. If someone takes a screenshot of the chat, then the sender will be notified.

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App Lock – When “App lock” is activated, either Face ID or a passcode is required to open Messenger. You can still reply to messages from notifications and answer calls while Messenger is locked.

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How to Make Facebook Messenger Safer:

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Regardless of the app, three actions mitigate the risks we’ve shared. We teach these actions in our parent presentations:

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1. Require approval for all app downloads.
2. Follow the 7-Day Rule
3. Enable in-app controls and settings

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We explain each of them briefly below. If you’ve already set up approvals for downloads and have used the app, please skip to the In-App Controls & Settings.

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Require Approval for App Downloads

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You can control app stores by requiring permission for apps to be downloaded. This is ensures your child doesn’t have access to an app without your knowledge. Here are the steps (for Apple and Android users):

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For Apple Devices:

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To require permission to download an app, you’ll need to set up Screen Time and Family Sharing (Apple’s Parental Controls). We explain this process step-by-step in our Complete iOS Guide (click here).  

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Once Screen Time and Family Sharing are established, here’s how to require permission to download apps on an Apple device:

1. Go to your Settings app.
2. Select your Family.
3. Select the person you want to apply this setting to.
4. Scroll down to “Ask to Buy” and enable.

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For Android Devices:

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You’ll have to use Family Link (Android’s parental controls) to ensure you retain control over what apps are downloaded. We explain this process step-by-step in our Android Guide (click here).

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Once Family Link is established, here’s how to require permission to download apps on an Android device:

1. Go to the Family Link App
2. Select the person you want to apply this setting to.
3. Select “Google Play Store”
4. Select “Purchases & download approval” and set it to “All Content.”

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Follow the 7-Day Rule

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This is our tried-and-true method of determining whether a specific app is safe for your specific child.

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Before you let your child use it, download the app and use it for 7 days.

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Create an account with your child’s age and gender and use it for 7 days. Play through a few levels, review the ads, see if anyone can chat with you, and poke around like a curious child.

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After a week, ask yourself, “Do I want my child to experience what I did?”  Even if you decide to allow them to download the app, now you have a basis for curious conversations about the app when you check in.

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Enable In-App Controls & Settings

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Messenger Kids offers more parental controls. But you can still set-up parental supervision on Facebook Messenger.

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Here are the steps:

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1. Go to Messenger Family Center

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On a phone or computer:

1. Open Messenger
2. Tap your profile picture
3. Tap Menu / Settings
4. Scroll down
5. Tap Supervision

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2. Invite Your Teen on Messenger

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You (or your teen) can send the request.

1. Tap Create Invite
2. Review the explanation screen
3. Tap Next
4. Tap Create Invite
5. Copy the link and send it to your teen (text, email, etc.)

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The invite expires after 48 hours.

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3. Teen Accepts and Confirms Messenger Supervision

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Your teen:

1. Opens the invite link
2. Signs into Facebook
3. Confirms you as the supervising parent

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Supervision only activates after acceptance (and confirmation if the teen initiated it).

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4. Messenger Supervision is Enabled

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Once connected, you’ll see your child’s account inside the Family Center dashboard, where you can view safety information and activity

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Facebook Messenger Bottom Line: Is It Safe for Kids?

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When it comes to messaging apps, there are much safer options, like iMessage on an Apple device, or the basic texting app on an Android device.

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Messenger should not be used by kids under age 13, in order to be consistent with Facebook’s own rules and due to the browsing risk mentioned above. Even Messenger Kids would be better, while still not perfect, it's safer than Messenger.

What if I have more questions? How can I stay up to date?

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Two actions you can take!

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1. Subscribe to our tech trends newsletter, the PYE Download. About every 3 weeks, we’ll share what’s new, what the PYE team is up to, and a message from Chris.
2. Ask your questions in our private parent community called The Table! It’s not another Facebook group. No ads, no algorithms, no asterisks. Just honest, critical conversations and deep learning! For parents who want to “go slow” together. Become a member today!

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