5 Ways Pornography Harms Children and Teens

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The porn industry is currently under fire. A major website is shutting down, multi-billion dollar companies are distancing themselves, and the lawsuits keep piling up. So, it’s not hard to convince parents that pornography negatively affects society. But how does pornography harm children and teens?

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5 Ways Pornography Impacts Children and Teens:

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• Pornography harms a child’s precious brain. It actually changes neural pathways.
• Pornography harms a child’s view of sex. How it is on the screen is not how it is in real life.
• Pornography harms a child’s view of people. Pixels lead to objectification. Porn diminishes our ability to see a real, unrepeatable person.
• Pornography harms a child’s quality of life. Because pornography is a super-normal stimulus, kids can’t stop watching. They lose sleep and time.
• Pornography causes children to harm other children. When young kids see pornography, they practice pornography on other children.Let’s explore each of these impacts in greater detail.

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Pornography harms your child’s precious brain.

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The human brain is incredible. One of the great joys of parenting is watching a child make discoveries. Whether it’s learning how to walk, recite the alphabet, or play an instrument, neural pathways are constantly developing in their brains. Because the brain develops from back to front, one of the last regions to develop is the prefrontal cortex. This is the region that’s in charge of:

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• Focusing attention
• Anticipating and predicting the consequences for one’s actions
• Impulse control; managing one’s emotions
• Planning for the future
• Conditional thinking (I can’t do A until B happens)

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Think of the prefrontal cortex as the “brakes” of the brain. Since your son’s or daughter’s braking system doesn’t fully develop until their mid-20’s, it is bound to crash into things from time to time. It is estimated that 90% of children ages 8-16 have seen online pornography. This translates into >30,000,000 children (in the United States alone) sustaining neurological fender benders while connected to the internet.

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While accidental exposure is one of the most common on-ramps to pornography, your son’s or daughter’s brain is hypersensitive to reward stimuli. Meaning behaviors can become habitual VERY quickly. Deborah Halber puts it this way:

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“Neurons in the different regions of the brain comprising the reward system communicate using dopamine…It enhances reward-related memories and creates emotional associations with rewards…It’s not the reward itself, but the expectation of a reward that most powerfully influences emotional reactions and memories.”

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For all of its complexity, the brain operates according to a very simple principle. Whatever you feed it is what it learns to love. Especially before age 16. With the heart-racing excitement (norepinephrine) that comes from sexual content (oxytocin), pornography hijacks the brain and focuses the body’s attention until it climaxes (serotonin) and creates a desire (dopamine) to repeat the process.

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When this process occurs during the all-important adolescent years, the brain creates deep neural pathways (“ruts”) that crave pornography. Resulting in an adult brain that craves the supernormal stimulus of pornography. Just spend 30 minutes in any porn recovery forum, like NoFap or Reboot Nation (reader beware – the content in these sites is real, raw, and explicit – this is why I haven’t linked to them – it’s your choice to visit), and you will find thousands of young adults who spent their entire formative years watching pornography. And now they are convinced that they have brains, absent Divine intervention, that are irrevocably wired to crave porn. It’s crushing to read their stories.

Pornography harms your child’s view of sex.

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“Just a minute, please.” “Hold on a sec.” “Just wait” (My wife just spoke this last one to our 3-year-old as I was writing this sentence!). We are impatient by nature. Whether it’s waiting for a friend to come over, the cookies to be done baking, or whatever important thing our kids need to say in the middle of our conversation with just about anyone; our children STRUGGLE to wait.

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Pornography preys on that unwillingness to wait, removes the investment in a healthy sexual relationship, and reduces sex down to a series of compilations that selfishly (and temporarily) satisfy a niche fantasy. This pattern glorifies sex as the penultimate goal of relationships. Eventually, convincing the user that they can have a fulfilling sex life independent of the “baggage” that comes with a committed relationship.

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In fact, males who report using pornography during adolescence followed by daily consumption of pornography often advance to viewing extreme content, including violence, to maintain arousal (see more on this below). Over time these men become less interested in physical intercourse as it is viewed as bland and uninteresting. Men then lose the ability to have sex with a real-life partner. This condition is labeled as Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction (PIED).

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As it’s often said in porn recovery communities, “no real, physical woman can compare with multiple tabs of high-definition, streaming porn.” And the brain agrees.

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Pornography harms your child’s view of others.

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The internet, as useful as it may be, has taught us to devalue others. Don’t believe me? Begin reading the comment section of articles on your favorite subject. From sports and politics to health and finance, people can say some TERRIBLE things about each other. The crazy thing is that most don’t even know the other person.

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Pornography is the same way. Whether you are 4, 14, or 40, viewing pornography leads the user to objectify others. Pornography is a horrible teacher. It teaches your son or daughter that:

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• Sex is selfish
• Sex is violent
• Sexual consent is not necessary
• Sexual partners are objects for pleasure
• Sex is expected

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All people have value, pornography teaches us otherwise.

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Pornography harms your child’s quality of life.

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We have written broadly on the effects of screen time on a child’s brain. Because most pornography is viewed on a screen, its relationship with a child’s productivity can be the same. Pornography takes time away from other activities like sleep, homework, and time with family. A study on the effects of pornography on 14-year-old boys showed that increased use of internet pornography decreased boys’ academic performance six months later. That’s a significant impact.

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And, as previously mentioned, because the young brain lacks a mature prefrontal cortex, there are no brakes to stop the behavior. Therefore, when a young man told his mom, “Mom, I just couldn’t stop clicking,” he was telling her the (neurological) truth.

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On-going reading: “Why kids look at pornography – often it’s not their fault”

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A deeper dive into the connection between pornography and productivity shows the interconnectedness with other issues in this list. The more pornography a child views, the more risky behaviors they are apt to participate in. Activities like sexting can cause significant loss of sleep. Whether because sexting is done at night or due to increased anxiety associated with sexting, lower productivity levels can result.

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Whether you’re age 4, 14, or 40, no one lives their very best life while watching pornography.

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Pornography causes children to harm other children.

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Peer-on-peer sexual conduct and abuse are on the rise in children, in large part, because of expanding access to pornography on smart devices in the home. The correlation has everything to do with mirror neurons.

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Mirror neurons are a type of brain cell that respond equally when we perform an action and when we witness someone else perform the same action.

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When a child is exposed to pornographic content, there is a strong likelihood that he or she will mimic what they saw with friends or family members (usually younger siblings). These kinds of actions are above and beyond normal exploratory behavior among children:

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• Comportamientos que causan angustia emocional, ansiedad o dolor físico
• Penetración repetida de la vagina o el ano con un objeto o un dedo
• Comportamientos persistentes y que hacen que el niño se enoje si se distrae
• Comportamientos asociados con trastornos de conducta o agresión
• Una variedad de comportamientos sexuales que se muestran con frecuencia o a diario

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Involucrar a otras personas

• Comportamientos sexuales que involucran a niños con cuatro o más años de diferencia
• Un niño coacciona a otro para que participe
• Imitación explícita de las relaciones sexuales
• Contacto oral-genital
• Pedirle a un adulto que realice un acto sexual específico

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5 maneras de combatir los impactos de la pornografía

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Normaliza la pornografía (temprano). «Haz de la pornografía la norma».

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Si aún no te miran en blanco, ¡no hablas lo suficiente de ello! Conversaciones persistentes y consistentes. ¿Cuál es la edad adecuada para que hablen sobre la pornografía? No te conocemos a ti ni a tu hijo, pero si esperas hasta que estés listo, es demasiado tarde.

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Visite la página de recursos de PYE para ver libros que ofrecen ayuda adicional con estas conversaciones.

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Conozca (y abrace) su router.

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Su router defectuoso es el dispositivo más utilizado y menos apreciado de su hogar. Nadie le presta atención hasta que deja de funcionar. Es hora de darle un poco de amor. Consulte los resultados de nuestras pruebas de enrutadores inalámbricos.

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Practica mantener la calma.

No te asustes. No te asustes. No te asustes. No te asustes. En otras palabras, no seas la razón por la que no regresan. Usa frases como:

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• «Estoy muy orgullosa de que hayas venido y me lo hayas dicho. Apuesto a que fue duro».
• «No hay nada malo en ti».
• «¿Cómo te sentiste antes, durante y después? Hablemos de ello».
• «¡Perdónate! Todos tropiezan. Cae 7 empates y levántate 8. ¡Podemos hacerlo!»
• «Vamos a superar esto. Lo prometo».
• «No hay nada que puedas hacer que pueda cambiar mi amor por ti. ¡Nada!»

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Aplasta la vergüenza.

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Recuérdele a su hijo o hija que siempre, de manera irrevocable y perpetua puede aterrizar suavemente con usted. Sin juicio. Obtenga ayuda, si la necesita.

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5 señales de que podría necesitar ayuda profesional:

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• El comportamiento de su hijo es excesivo.
• Parece que su hijo no puede dejar de ver pornografía, incluso después de la intervención.
• Las preferencias pornográficas de su hijo son extremas, extrañas y/o ilegales.
• Su hijo participa en actividades sexuales con extraños que conoció en línea.
• Su hijo dice que quiere ver a un consejero.

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«Criemos niños que no tengan que recuperarse de su infancia». — Pam Leo

¿Qué pasa si tengo más preguntas? ¿Cómo puedo mantenerme al día?

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¡Dos acciones que puedes tomar!

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1. Suscríbase a nuestro boletín de tendencias tecnológicas, el Descargar PYE. Aproximadamente cada 3 semanas, compartiremos las novedades, lo que está haciendo el equipo de PYE y un mensaje de Chris.
2. ¡Haga sus preguntas en nuestra comunidad privada de padres llamada The Table! No es otro grupo de Facebook. Sin anuncios, sin algoritmos, sin asteriscos. ¡Solo conversaciones honestas y críticas y aprendizaje profundo! Para padres que quieren «ir despacio» juntos. ¡Conviértase en miembro hoy mismo!

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